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May 2006

ASK THE SMART GUY: Monthly column by Dennis Latham.


Cricket Mercer (far right), winner of the Miss Guilford 2006 beauty contest, asked the question of the month.

The Smart Guy was off camera to the left several persons, smiling dum monstrans suum medium digitum

Question of the Month: Can you name ten things that are positively true in life?

Answers: The Smart Guy replies:

1. A tornado can't form or touch down unless it hits a trailer park.
2. In the speed lane, someone will tailgate you no matter how fast you go. Once you move over they pass you and slow down.
3. Any truck or van with ladders will always drive 100 miles per hour.
4. If you get extra money, something you own or some close relative will break down.
5. No matter what you write, someone, somewhere will always tell you it sucks.
6. If you assemble any object that has more than eight pieces, you will say the MF word at least five times.
7. If you spill one ounce of any liquid, it turns into five gallons on the floor.
8. ??? Ed. Note: item lost in time & space. [JTC 2021]
9. Americans get blamed for all the problems in the world, from bad television reception to unrest in East Zibblestan.
10. If you live in Alaska, you're hiding from the law. Why else would you live where it's dark half the year?

~

Speaking of Trailer Homes: The Smart Guy uses New Guinea bamboo for added tensile strength to tornado-proof his elevated trailer.

The Smart Guy was off camera to the left several persons, smiling dum monstrans suum medium digitum


Historical value only: Dead links & contact info deleted in 2021 during website renovation. [JTC]

Having problems from combat? Visit [lost link] to get help with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), VA Compensation, and more. Obtain The S-2 Report and other pamphlets from Dennis Latham Publishing. For real now: Having problems from combat? Visit [lost link]. "I'm always available at [lost phone number] to veterans and counselors when they have a question or just want to talk."—Dennis Latham.


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For historical information, visit the Clocktower Books Museum Site. Far Sector SFFH (formerly Deep Outside SFFH) was an imprint of Clocktower Books, our umbrella small press publishing house in San Diego, California USA. Our original motto: "Clocktower Books means Exciting Fiction For Avid Readers—On The Web Since 1996." This was digital publishing at its best in that day, including digital and print editions of many titles. Visit John T. Cullen's Webplex for info about Clocktower Books today, plus his continuing books and projects.