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Aside: A Note About Content. (2022) A few of the editorial comments by JTC during the early 2000s were political in nature. Those represent purely my own opinions stated at the time, and may not have agreed with the opinions of my esteemed team members. Explanation follows. Click for more INFO.
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November 2003
Global Warming and Chinese Takeout-Nauts
Fires Too
Close For Comfort. Global warming, which is roundly denied by that round
denizen of the Beltway, Jerry Falwell, is here to stay. We saw a touch of it
here in Southern California this Oct/Nov 2003, and it wasn't pretty. With the
ice melting on both poles, and sea levels threatening to rise dramatically in
this century, cult leaders will have to find other whizzdom to impart to their
sheep. When I was a kid, I remember reading about ancient Pompeii when Vesuvius
blew—it was raining ashes, and I remember thinking: why didn't they get
the howling hello out of there? Now I've experienced this phenomenon at least
twice: once during the Normal Heights fire in 1984, and again last month in
the string of wildfires that set Southern California alight. Had our shuttle
not burned up, and were we capable of putting people in space, they would have
reported that the fires were visible from orbit. Remember the days when we used
to be treated to such technological marvels? Now we are in a time loop, back
in the 1960s in Vietnam. It's a clear example of "those who do not learn from
history are doomed to relive it." Whatever happened to the Powell Doctrine?
Instead of Powell, we have a three star general in Iraq informing those heathens
that they are devil-worshippers and we are there to make Iraq safe for "Kristianity."
As a Christian, I object. But nobody listens — not in 2000, when the people
voted for Al Gore, and not now when increasingly many people understand we disobeyed
Eisenhower's dictum not to get involved in any land wars in Asia. Last time
I looked, Afghanistan and Iraq are in Asia, mostly, sort of. Back then the civilian
whiz kid who knew it all (despite the Generals) was MacNamara; now it's Rumsfeld.
Remember these golden oldies from the Sixties? "The light is at the end of the
tunnel." "We are winning this war." "We shall stay the course." "Just another
25,000 troops will do the trick." "We must involve the local Vietnamese in the
direct fighting." "They will be home by Christmas" (That last was the big Korean
War fairy tale). For my money, I agree that Saddam is or was a sewer rat. Personally,
I would have laughed if we could have wasted that genocidal loudmouth. But we
didn't. We couldn't. We couldn't waste that one guy, but we could put a huge
number of American troops and supplies in harm's way in the world's oldest country
where they have been chewing up invaders since halfway to the last Ice Age.
Meanwhile, that $87 billion our leerless feeder is handing the Iraque sham government
would have provided much-needed health care to most one third of U.S. children
who have no access to medicine. The wildfires that were raining ashes on us
here in Pompeii — whoops, SoCal — were a warning, whether from supernatural
or just plain natural sources. Better go to zoo and look at the animals, because
half of them will be extinct in the next 20 years. It's been estimated that
we'll see the last tiger in about twelve years, the last polar bear in about
20. Same for lions, elephants, and anything to big to get out of man's way.
Did I mention the last human? It's just possible that we, and cockroaches, and
similarly unsavory companions, will be the last guys standing when the ecological
smoke clears. God pity us. But I feel sorrier for the tigers, and for my great-grandchildren
who may never see a living one.
Chinese Taikonauts
Take Wing (No Pun Intended): As predicted here at least a year ago, Mainland
China has launched its first person into space. His name wasn't Wing, sorry,
but Yang Liwei...and nobody but I seems to have picked up on this little irony:
While Yang was flying for China, a Chinese-American astronaut named Ed Lu was
just coming home from the Bipartisan Extra-Large Pork-Barrel, or BEP (also known
as the International Space Station, or ISS), so China really had two faces in
space for a day or two. Way to go! ### The North Koreans are threatening to
start a new nuclear arms race in East Asia, Reddish China (formerly Communist,
now run by a corrupt oligarchy who laughingly claim ideological high ground
while skimming the top off the treasury) has ostensibly started a new space
race. There have been no noises from the Tush hegemony or their European laughing
mates about ever revisiting space (we put our last guy on the moon a third of
a century ago). This is no surprise, since, despite all his money, Tush never
thought it worth leaving the U.S. to visit any other countries before he seized
power here. Even the poorest shlepp working at Walmart longs to stand on the
Eiffel Tower or suck spaghetti on the Via Veneto, but not our lantern of enlightenment;
after all, Texas is the world. With such guidance (as my old Army sergeant used
to say, "Can't lead three pissants to a urinal"), there is no danger the U.S.
will ever have a serious space program again...plenty of space between Tush's
ears, so who needs to go looking for more? If it ain't worth going to look at
the Louvre or the Coliseum or that other commie pinko kulchur shit in Europe,
who wants to go look at some blank space with little twinkling lights in it?
Plenty of that if you just blow a few more lines of coke... or are we discussing
that oxycontin street junkie Limbaugh here? Anyway, look for India and their
dancing partner Pakistan to be thinking about launching a can fulla guys into
orbit some year soon, perhaps out of Kazakhstan or Kourou. The Europeans launched
some sort of contraption to the Moon, which is expected to arrive in a few years
via slow rail (maybe they mailed it via the U.S. Postal System?). The Japanese
may surprise us by putting a Honda full of people with sunglasses and cameras
into orbit some time soon, or maybe a pachinko parlor twirling in our night
skies. Or is that snapping flashbulbs? Don't get me wrong -- I'm staying here
where the toilet paper is soft and the shopping malls play Christmas music as
early as October. Sadly, that's where our troops in Iraq long to be, and, as
one who was marooned overseas for years long ago, I wish them well. Get back
to the world soon and in one piece. We miss you. This is home — no place
like it on earth, or anywhere else in the universe. And that's a very scientifictional
thought to close on.
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Clarion West:
More on this in later issues. Pat Murphy, Larissa Lai, Geoff Ryman, John Kessel,
James Patrick Kelley, Kelly Link, and Charles de Lint will instruct at the 2004
session in Seattle, WA. Contact Nisi Shawl, nisis@aol.com or (206) 720-1008
or http://www.sff.net/clarionwest/ for info.
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Books Received
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